Friday, May 15, 2009

Wolverine Trek Challenge

Haven't blogged in a while. Been a long time coming, so here it is... I just got back from a southern tour where I along with comedians Modi, Esther Ku & Steve Rossi went to promote the movie Stand Up 360. 

Not going to lie it was a fun time in the beginning. Our tour started in Philadelphia early week - we made TV appearances on Good Morning Philadelphia and several XM/Sirius Radio Stations... by the end of the tour we were all a little down because Star Trek & Wolverine was kicking our comedy butts!

So now here comes my challenge, sure no one from either movie is reading this but if they are... I challenge them to a 10 minute face off on stage. Yeay! I would love to see if Spock, Captain Kirk, Wolverine or any other Sci-Fi or Mutant can be funny for 10 minutes straight. Lot tougher when you don't have a script written by someone else... Just saying. 

Don't get me wrong, not saying I didn't go watch these movies or that they aren't talented... but wouldn't you like to see Hugh Jackman on stage trying to be funny? even better if he had the sideburns and claws... 

So throwing down the gauntlet... Let's do this

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Making a movie

Stand Up 360 Muy Caliente - Has put together 2 showcases of comedians that they will be filming and broadcasting in movie theaters across the country. And Guess who they have tapped to host these showcases? 

If you said Erik Rivera you are right! It's awesome news and could bring great exposure to myself and all the comedians on the shows.

But... here is the problem. I know you're thinking how could there be a problem? Well there is, they have also notified me that they are going to put together an ad campaign across the cities on buses, telephone poles and posters all over.

You know what that means? Penis drawings!

That's right, I will be donned with hundreds of Sharpie penis drawings all over my face and mouth. I will also don black teeth, mustaches, beards, eye patches... etc. Also I can look forward to the words "GAY" "PENIS" "HOMO" "FAG" "LOSER" "RETARD" "STUPID" "D#CK"... etc. written on my forehead.

Oh the pain that comes with the excitement of it all

I guess I should be happy, but the things that are going to be done to my picture.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Showing your goods

So I recently watched a movie with my mother and in it was a nude scene. Of course there was the expected awkwardness of the situation, but my mother has a tendency to make this 50 times worse because she causes a scene:

"Look at that hooker showing her chi chi's"
"How could she shame her mother like that"
(of course you have to read these with a Spanish accent)

What kills me is she gets upset like she knows the female actor and knows the pain her mother is going through. She doesn't realize it's part of the art of acting, you are chosen to do this part and that is the director's vision. Now in all fairness you are given the choice to accept the role or reject it. I'm trying to explain this to her, when all of a sudden I'm hit with an unexpected question:

"Would you show your pee pee in a movie?"

Now some people have reservation about nudity on the big screen and I understand it. I wouldn't want to be portrayed a certain way, almost killed some actor's careers (e.g. Jesse Spano from Saved By The Bell). I thought about it and gave her a truthful answer.

"If the part is right and the money is right yes I would."

Think about it, you're walking by a doorway, silhouette of your naked body... $5 million dollars? Heck yea I would. Or love scene with a well known beautiful actress and it's necessary to the story... $2 million dollars? Hell yea!
Now let's say I'm about to do a role that would kill my career forever, sort of like Showgirls... $3 million dollars? Still probably go with yes. You know why, then I'm a millionaire who cares what people think. I buy myself a nice house, invest and live off of that. Why not?

Let's just say momma wasn't too happy with that answer. I told her I would buy her a house and take care of her, to which I got back:

"I don't want your pee pee money... or your pee pee house!"

Really a nice million dollar home and that's what would go through your mind everytime you saw it or had people over?

I don't know maybe I'm looking at it all wrong...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Thoughts that don't connect...

Let's start off with the intro shall we... My name is Erik Rivera. I'm a comedian, based in NYC. It is currently 2am on a Wednesday night, technically Thursday morning, I'm supposed to get up at 9am... but in all honesty with each passing minute, I don't see that happening.

So why am I here? Well, because everyone is blogging. Most of my comedian comrades blog. My friends blog. My family members blog. So figure why shouldn't I blog. I usually scribble down notes in my joke pad to talk about and some never materialize into jokes so let's create their outlet here.

The only problem is I suffer from writing A.D.D. I haven't written a paper or essay or paragraph in like 6 years. So I tend to veer off of topic, hence the name of my blog being Scribbled Notes on a piece of paper.

Here are random things I've jotted down:

- I recently went into a Barnes & Nobles in Manhattan over by Madison Square Garden. I like many other Manhattan-ites had to use the restroom. Found it upsetting that

a. I was not allowed to take a book with me into the restroom to keep me company

b. They didn't provide books or magazines in the stalls... at least books on clearance, I believe they are missing a huge marketing chance with the male demographic.

- I understand the whole "americanization" of small businesses/restaurants to reach out to the whole community... but some things have to stay true to themselves. Chinese restaurant's have to have a very asian name "Red Ruby" "Green Lotus" "Dragon Garden" or something grammatically incorrect "Happy Come Wok" "Tiger Crouch Wall".
I was recently in queens and saw "Larry's Chinese Food", Larry's? Who in their right mind would order from there? When it comes to ethnic food, you have to keep it ethnic... no one is going to order from Larry's Chinese Food or Norman's Burritos or Tyrone's Pasta and Bevi!

- Another bathroom issue... I recently had to go to bathroom while shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond, no worries it was #1 not like the Barnes & Nobles incident. And would you believe they didn't have a bathroom. It's Bed, BATH & Beyond and no BATHroom. It's kind of in your name, so you should have a bathroom. At least with your merchandise in it...

So post your opinions if you agree or disagree or just plain think I've wasted your time... Blog soon.